pagingme:

can i make a bible out of this man’s tweets

burgerkid:

me trying to do stuff

image

We’ve all lost someone.

renzo649:

This guy’s suit actor deserves an award for this.

pastel-gizibe:

These tweets will be the death of me

person: wow you drink so much water, you're so healthy!!
me: i cry so much i gotta stay hydrated

esophagi:

i’m in the mood for a boy with a deep voice to tell me nice things 

anneboleyns:

"but officer they were fucking with my clique"

indikos:

burned my hand curling my hair today

worth it